A Recent Conversation About Abortion

I thought I would share a conversation that I had with a friend about abortion today. I will abbreviate the boy's name as 'C'. The conversation was in response to this story:

A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said, "Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately need your help! My baby is not even 1 year old and I'm pregnant again. I don't want kids so close together"

The doctor said "Ok and what do you want me to do?"

She said "I want you to end my pregnancy, and I'm counting on your help with this"

The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady, "I think I have a better solution for your problem. It's less dangerous for you too".

She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request. Then he continued, "You see, in order for you not to have to take care of 2 babies at the same time, let's kill the one in your arms. This way, you could rest some before the other one is born. If we're going to kill one of them, it doesn't matter which one it is. There would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms"

The lady was horrified and said "No doctor! How terrible! It's a crime to kill a child!"

"I agree" the doctor replied. "But you seemed to be OK with it, so I thought maybe that was the best solution". The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point. He convinced the woman that there is no difference in killing a child that's already been born and one that's still in the womb. The crime is the same!

 

-----

 

C: I believe it's quality of life rather than the quantity of lives. I think it's easy just to say "we can save lives, so no matter what we must save them", but if you're risking the lives of those around the child, and the child's itself just because people want to try and stand on a high moral ground, fighting for something in which they don't really have a huge say in... i dunno, i just don't think it's fair to have loads of peoples lives jeopardised by people who want to wear a big S on the front of their shirt trying to be a hero. It's all fine saying you want to save lives, cool, but how about fighting for those out there who genuinely need it and can't do anything about it. There are better more important things to fight for than trying to say the Quantity of Lives is more important than the Quality. Which i believe, it is not.

Me: I understand what you're saying, but I think the problem is how do we judge a quality of life? People often think abortion is justified if the child would have a 'poor quality of life', well what does that mean? Babies can be aborted if they have club foot. Does that mean they wouldn't have a good quality of life? How can we possibly define that? In which case it seems like a weak reason to abort a baby

C:  Mhm, i doubt anyone can argue with that really, seeing as hindsight is a wonderful thing and it's impossile to know beforehand. Plus, i can see how some people would say a child born into a 1st world country with some family problems would live a much better life than those in developing countries (even though that's kinda path dependancy which is a totally different topic altogether). I just think there are so many negative ethical complications, to what would be essentially forcing a woman to have a child, that it isn't worth the amount of lives you'd put in harms way/problems you'd cause. Sure, it could be the best thing that happens these people around the child, but as a general thing, i don't think it's what most people would say today is 'for the best'

C: Putting it this way, what we're all saying here, is that because the child doesn't have a voice, we're going to give it one by fighting for it's life. But that's exactly NOT what you set out to do here in the first place! (because you make their decision for them!) I think i can speak for most people here when i say that if i had a rational, sympathic, fully thinking brain when i was in my mothers womb, and i had a say in the matter, if my mother didn't feel like she could cope with me and give me a happy life that (i believe) everyone deserves, and that she ultimately isn't ready/doesn't want me at this time in here life, i'd have to bite the bullet and be selfless, saying that it really is, at the end of the day, her call. (So i see what you mean with the whole.... 'where do we draw a line', i guess i'm just saying that we kinda already have a pen in our hands, all we need to draw now is draw it)

Me: I don't think you'd be forcing a woman to have a child, because apart from extremely rare cases where a woman has become pregnant through rape, women can control whether or not they get pregnant. If they didn't want to have a child, they should have taken preventive measures in the first instance. That's where the mother had her call. If she couldn't do that then she only has herself to blame for the situation she now finds herself in. She shouldn't take out her frustrations on the unborn child.

Me: I don't see how ending the life of a child before it's born would ever be a good thing. You just don't know what will happen, for example Steve Jobs is only here because his mother chose to give him up for adoption rather than abort him. Also the baby will feel pain from 6 weeks gestation. From the mother's perspective also, she has no idea what will happen. I know people who've had abortions that now find it difficult to conceive again, or have had several miscarriages, leaving their bodies permanently damaged from the abortion. Was the abortion therefore beneficial even for her? Emotional trauma is another factor, I know people who are tormented by what they did and by thoughts about what their baby would be like now. Thus, where is the benefit to anyone from an abortion?

Thought of the Day: The Implant

This post is one of my more off-topic posts, a post that isn't an answer to a question that I've been asked, nor is it a thought connected to philosophy or theology. It is however a thought linked to society and the theology of how men and women should be treated within a sexual relationship. It's kinda hard for me to write about in a way that isn't overly offensive and in a way that gets my views across but here it goes.

A few of my friends have had or have the implant and recently it's made me think a lot about my attitudes toward it. An impant (for those who aren't sure) is a small plastic tube that's inserted into a woman's upper arm. It releases a hormone to prevent pregnancy. (For the more technical and detailed explanation, click here). It can last up to 3 years.

I came to the conclusion that I think it's pretty disgusting. Not just the fact that it looks weird, you're taught it's bad to have foreign objects in your body and then you can have this thing that looks like a straw sewn into your arm. Not to mention how gross it looks to have it put in and taken out. But on top of all that, I think it affects the way guys treat girls.

I know it's a woman's own choice if she has an impant or not (and that has just made me think, I wonder how old you have to be? In the UK they'll do anything to stop teen pregnancies so I'm thinking a 13 year old could get one quite easily without family members needing to know). But it still makes me think of movies and things like 'A.I.', 'The Terminator' and 'I, Robot' where robots are editied, opened up, had bits added and removed to improve them or to stop them being a certain undesirable way. That's pretty much how I see girls with implants.

I realise at this point I may sound pretty offensive to some people, but it's how I honestly feel. Even if you're in a loving, serious, long-term relationship, or even in a marriage, it seems to me like you've been edited to be more desirable or more convenient for a man. You can be used for sexual purposes without the unsatisfactory result of becoming pregant. You've been tailor made for a man's selfish purposes. If you chose to have it because you don't want to get pregant, I still feel like it's the same thing. You may have initially chosen to do that for your reasons, but you've still set yourself up to be more convenient for a man.

I'm not particularly feminist either, I don't care if men want to claim they're stronger, or that they can handle bigger cars, but I do care if men think they can mistreat women purely because they're men. I also have a problem with women who encourage men to do this, either by being hookers, dressing like they're in a porn movie when they're going to class, etc. The implant I feel, inadvertantly encourages men to see women as sex objects, because it's more risk free for them.

The girl is the one who has to go to the doctor, have a minor surgery, have a foreign object in her body, have her hormones messed up for 9 months, have her cycle messed up for 3 years and then have another minor surgery to either change it or have it taken out. Meanwhile the guy can just carry on with life and worry about nothing when it comes to having sex. I don't really think that's fair.

So to conclude, I think the implant is not only disgusting and unnecessary, but I think it enables men to further objectify women. I for one will NEVER be putting one in my body, mark my words ;)

Thought of the Day: Keeping Your Focus on God

This is a little bit of a 2-in-1 post. I'm going to write about keeping your focus on God in your day to day life, but also about choosing hobbies and activities that please God. So here goes.

My university's Athletic Union (AU) announced today details on the annual Sports Fair. It reminded me of how much I want to dance regularly. Last year, I wanted to join the dance team in the AU, but one of my lecturers chose not to follow the 'Free Wednesday Afternoons from Classes' policy and I had class during and after dance meets. I saw cheerleading being promoted and thought, 'that seems cool, they add dance with some cheer, I'll do that instead. I can make the training sessions'. So I paid my membership and joined the cheerleading squad.

This is the part where choosing hobbies that please God comes into it. Everyone knows the stereotype of the cheerleader: hot, popular, slutty, fun-loving, you know how it is. I ignored that when I joined. Well, turns out that stereotype was half right in my squad. I spoke to many girls who'd been in the squad for over a year, who loved to tell me about all the nights they got smashed (with the squad), the number of times they woke up naked next to a guy whose name they couldn't remember and warned me that ANYTHING that happened between me and one of the footballers we cheered for, would spread like wild fire between the football team and the squad. That wasn't a great start to the social side.

When I went out on a social with the cheerleaders (it was kinda mandatory after our first dance performance was in a bar) I got quite a shock. Firstly, I was the only one showing no interest in getting hammered. Secondly, it was a mixed social with the football team, who seemed to think (since I was a cheerleader) it wouldn't take much for me to end up going home with them and that I also didn't mind if they tried to touch me. Well I wasn't 'game' for either. I was also one of about 3 cheerleaders who were wearing dressings that did cover out hineys. Even our coach for body conditioning was drunk, stumbling around, falling all over the place, shouting swear words. Great example! That was the first and last cheer social I attended.

People assumed that because I was a cheerleader, I was an easy, retarded, gossipy, slut who enjoyed getting drunk and sleeping around. Well I wasn't, I'm not and I won't be. People wouldn't talk to me as much because I wouldn't go on the socials (for the above reasons). At that point I thought "why am I doing this?" Cheer was very serious business, you had to attend 8 hours training a week (2 gym, 2 dance, 2 cheer and 2 stunt) plus attend games more or less every Sunday. Which involved catching a bus circa 8am, being in the freezing cold for the game for 4 hours (warm up, entertaining the crowd and cheering for the team) and not getting home again until circa 10pm every time.

More effort and more of my time was going into cheerleading than to God and for what? To be considered stupid and promiscuous? To be shunned because I wouldn't do what they did. Even some of my flatmates would ask "if you're a Christian, why are you cheerleading? Is that allowed?"

1 Peter 2:12 - Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.

Ephesians 5:8 - For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light.

If you can cheer without all this negativity, I guess you could do it, but for me personally I felt like it was seriously interfering with my faith. I didn't have enough time for God and I couldn't stand the reputation I was bringing upon myself, even when I knew and so did my friends that it was wrong. After 3 months in the squad, I quit.

Moving more onto keeping your focus on God, by all means have a hobby, an activity that you enjoy. But don't let it consume you. Some girls on the squad would live and breathe cheerleading. If they weren't at a game all day, in class or in their 8 hours training, they were watching football games, practicing even more in their free time, or going to games. Their lives revolved around it and they had no outside interests or any other hobbies. They're focus and happiness came entirely from cheerleading. Our worth and focus should not be completely invested in a hobby, especially one that isn't viewed as something Godly. (I thought cheer gave me a bad rep, but recently one of my 'Christian' classmates decided she would start poledancing classes. I think that's worse).

Colossians 3:1-3 - Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God

My plan this year is to do pure dance. Now I have Wednesday afternoons off, I could join the dance team in the AU. But I don't think I will. I don't want to be forced into making the team my everything. I need to find a balance. This summer I went to dance classes at home that were fun and I learnt new stuff. But there was no obligation to come every single week, no strict competitions and you could come for 1 hour a week or 4. There was no pressure. It was great because it was everything I wanted from dance, but allowed me to keep my focus where it belongs. I will try to find a place to continue this at university, otherwise I will have to surrender dance. God doesn't want you not to have interests and do activities, but He does request that He comes first and I agree.

My Take on 'Gossip' Magazines

There are many people, especially girls, who enjoy reading 'gossip' magazines. To clarify before I go on, I'll define what I mean by that: magazines that feature scandalous stories about the personal lives of celebrities.

Examples of these are:

• Heat
• Now
• OK!
• Hello
• People
• Star
• Us Weekly

Many girls think it's harmless fun to read these magazines and have no issue spending upwards of £3 per issue on each one. For some reason, our society has got to a stage where we are so obsessed with celebrities that we want to know their every move. People will spend money, sometimes daily, so that they can track what's happening in the life of their favourite celebrity: what they're wearing, who they're dating, who's marrying, who's divorcing, who's cheating, how they're working out and what they're eating.

Here's why I would never spend a penny on said magazines and why I find them sinful to read even if you didn't buy one and you're feeling bored in a doctor's office:

• Gossip magazines are notoriously known for reporting speculation, rumours, lies and distorted or exaggerated facts. So tell me why you want to read something you know isn't completely, if at all, true?
• Would you want people looking at awful photos of you that have been taken without your awareness or permission? No? Then why do you want to look at such photos of other people?
• You are paying companies for the privilege of reading lies. People can actually make a living from creating fake stories about other people. Would you want someone to profit from selling lies about you? It's hurtful to hear something false said about you, before knowing someone got paid to tell it!
• Paying people to write lies also encourages their bad behaviour. Why would they stop if they know you'll pay for it? Why should they report the truth if you're satisfied with lies? They want to get your money not report what's true. The truth is, if you won't pay for it, they won't write it!
• The Golden Rule: seriously, you can't get upset if someone says something nasty about you if simultaneously you're reading potentially nasty stuff about other people e.g. look how much weight X celebrity has gained! Is Y cheating on her husband?
• The Bible also says that gossip is a sin. Leviticus 19:16 says it's sinful to slander someone (definition: the action of making a false spoken statement about a person that's damaging to their reputation). Psalm 34:13 says, 'Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies'

There you have it, why I despise gossip magazines. So please no more comments about how it's over-exaggerating to refrain from reading them. My beliefs are clear and non-negotiable :)

My Take on Abortion

Recently this has been a topic of conversation among me and a friend. I will summarise my view and then explain why I hold this view. I do not agree with abortion under any circumstance, at any time during pregnancy.

Why?

1. Because there is no such thing as an 'accidental' pregnancy. If your condom breaks, you could have been taking the pill at the same time, or even have the implant. It's called 'double dutch', using 2 methods of contraception at once to prevent pregnancy. If you use the condom properly and take your pill properly in the first place, they're unlikely to fail anyway. If you're still worried. DON'T HAVE SEX! There's no excuse for abortion.
2. It could damage the woman permanently. Both physically - you may find it hard to conceive in future, if at all, your chance of miscarriages increase and emotionally - you don't know how you will react to what you're doing. Guilt, regret, sadness, depression can all set in at any time and stay there.
3. It's the biggest kick in the teeth you could ever give someone who is unable to have children for a legitimate reason (e.g. not someone who had an abortion before). While others are desperate for a child to care and love on, others stupidly get pregnant and terminate it. How nice.
4. You are taking a life, abortion is murder even if you'd like to live in ignorance and pretend it's not

"But what if you get pregnant from rape? That's harsh" my answer to this is: the woman's been raped, she's unlucky, if she's pregnant she's even more unlucky. Do you really think giving her an abortion will help anything? You might physically damage her, which will remind her forever more of her ordeal. You might emotionally damager her, do you want her to feel sad or depressed even further because she aborted? She wouldn't have to keep the child. There's always adoption.

"But what if the child has a disability?" Firstly, it's not always certain that the baby does. I know people who were told their baby would be born with down's syndrome. He wasn't. What if he was aborted? I know another couple who were told their baby would be born club-footed. Around 64 babies a year (I read in The Times circa 2009) are aborted due to club foot. That isn't even serious. This baby was born club footed and by the age of 2 this had been corrected via physiotherapy and corrective footwear. He is now 20 years old, walks fine in normal shoes and you can't tell by looking at him or his feet that he was ever club-footed. If we try to wean out 'disabilities' and imperfections before children are born, we might get it wrong and we do for a start, but how will that make those who are born with disabilities feel? And lastly, if you can't deal with your child having an issue, are you really ready to be a parent?

"But it's the woman's body, she should get to choose what happens" sorry, but you are in control of your body. If you don't want to be pregnant, take precautions, it isn't rocket science. It's not as if you walk along minding your own business and all of a sudden "oh crap, I'm pregnant". If you can't take precautions, don't have sex. And ignoring the instructions on pill packets for example (like taking them when you feel like it rather than at a required set time each day) then wondering why it didn't work is an example of a precaution missed. I've heard that excuse from someone trying to prove she did use protection.
If you're now wondering why it's such a big deal to abort babies, or fetuses if you prefer, I will now explain that.

Dictionary.com defines life as "The condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death". So, by definition, a fetus is still a life because it has the capacity for growth, it will be capable of reproduction, it does function, it does change and it can die.

Here's a summary of the stages of growth while the baby is in the womb:

• 3 weeks: The heart begins to beat, the brain begins to develop into sections
• 4 weeks: The central nervous system (CNS) begins to develop
• 5 weeks: By this time the nose and ears are externally formed, the kidneys also begin to develop
• 6 weeks: The brain emits measurable impulses, bodily movements can be observed and the baby can start to feel pain and respond to stimuli
• 7 weeks: The 4 chambered heart is completely formed, fingers and toes are completely separated
• 8 weeks: Every organ is now present and in place
• 9 weeks: The eyelids close at this point and the fetus is able to suck its thumb
• 10 weeks: Fingernails and toenails appear and the fetus will have a unique fingerprint
• 16 weeks: The mother can start to feel kicking, fine hairs begin to cover the whole body
• 22 weeks: The fetus is now viable

(Source: Abort73.com)

And FYI, in the UK an abortion can be carried out up to 24 weeks into the gestation. In which case the baby will have been viable for 2 weeks. If the fetus is thought to have a severe abnormality, there is no limit to when it can be aborted. Most women are granted an abortion on the grounds that it will damage their mental health to continue with the pregnancy if they don't want it. (Y'know, cause it's not like she could have thought about that before she got pregnant?)

And a few last words: if a pregnant woman is killed, the killer will be charged for murder (for the woman) and manslaughter of the fetus in the US and the UK. Why is this the case if the fetus isn't alive or a person? If you stop someone from living, because a fetus is living and will become viable, isn't that killing? If a diabetic requires insulin and you take it from them, they will die, you have caused their death. Isn't that the same if you kill a fetus dependant temporarily on the mother?